"Only 0 days to go"

Well kiddies, today is the day. I am overcome with fear/nausea/anxiety but mainly for the beginning. From what I can gather by what people tell me, actually starting running is mission impossible. Everyone is crowded together and pushing their way to the front. Not only does this eat into your time, it incorporates two of my biggest hates; pusher inners and crowds. 

All my focus at the moment is on the very start and I haven't given much consideration to the rest of the run. I know the first two miles are my personal hardest in the way of regulating my breathing and pace, cue Darth Vader. However that small section between 2 and 13.1 miles in a mystery. All I am hoping is that my mind doesn't give out before my legs do. 

I am currently eating Weetabix and drinking a cup of tea. I have never successfully managed to eat before I run but after the passing out incident the other day I feel it would be awfully foolish to attempt this on an empty stomach. 

So here it is, my last "pre-half marathon" post. 

Wish me luck.

Your soon-to-have-completed-a-half-marathon friend.

Two days.

Am pooping myself about Sunday. My running pack is through, I have had my last run and all I can do now is try my very best. As I write this I have a bag of frozen peas on my elevated knee thanks to my first running injury. Exquisite timing as always. I did 6.56 miles today in 82 mins. The main reasoning for this was to prove that I could in fact run more than 4 miles. Had a slight panic attack when I read that if you stop within the first 4 miles you are instantly disqualified. Also you are not allowed mp3 players. Oh and the last half marathon runner is expected back in 3 hours. Today I proved to myself that I am capable of achieving all of these things but in the process have ballsed up my knee. To be fair I did go for my run at 5:50am then come home, shower, have breakfast and trek into town. It was 20% off in Topshop. What is a girl to do? I then proceeded to not eat all day, walk to my friends then walk home. Unfortunately on the way home I started to feel quite ill and dizzy. That is when I realised that I hadn't eaten and if I didn't get to a shop soon I would most definitely pass out. Which I did. In public. That is the last of my dignity gone then. I feel fine now though, apart from my knee which has been covered in deep heat. I smell fiiiiiine.

I am seriously hoping it will be a case of mind over matter. 

Things I learnt today:

• Scraping my hair back is not a good look for me (oh hai massive chav).
• Singing the Rocky theme tune in your head is highly motivating when running.
• When you have no music you have very odd thoughts, for example what song you might have at your funeral and who you might invite. (Positive thinking as always).
• It is important to eat so you don't pass out.

One positive of Sunday is that I get to see my niece and sister for the first time in a month. If I run fast enough we will even have time for a Nandos BOOM. I have such a support network wishing me well for this God damn run I don't want to let anyone down.

Thank you to everyone who has sponsored me so far and if you haven't already, get your finger out yeah? I JOKE. Except not really..

Now I am going to sleep in preparation for all the carbs I am going to eat tomorrow. Apparently people have "pasta parties". Best sort of party I can imagine.

I'll check in tomorrow when I am hyperventilating with nerves. Look forward to it yar?

Your shattered friend.

Stress.

On the verge of a nervy b.

Imagine a black screen with lots of dots of light buzzing about. It is impossible to focus on one let alone all of them because they are all moving too fast, weaving in and out of each other. When you think you are finally following one, another comes across your path and distracts you. You end up back where you started; amongst a mass of confusion.

Too much stress in all directions at once. 

Signs are now up for the Leicester Half Marathon and the prospect of Sunday is making me feel sick. My running ability is of shocking levels. Probably worse than when I first started training. The weight of the pressure I feel under appears to be hindering my ability to run properly. I can't escape from the "how long have I been running for" and "how far have I gone". When I first started running, before I signed up for this, I liked going because it helped me clear my head but now I come back feeling more anxious and under a thick cloud of worry. I know there is nothing I can realistically do now to improve my running ability other than not getting an injury. I need to try and curb my anxiety because when I get anxious, I get ill. Unfortunately I can't seem to control my anxiety which ironically makes me more anxious. I am forever shooting myself in the foot.


I am currently sat in the library getting a migraine.

I might go home.

Your highly strung friend.

Well Fancy That.

Last night I planned a route I would take this morning for a 9.1 mile run. It was a very simple route to ensure I didn't get lost. Except I did get lost. Quite lost actually. I did make it back, albeit a completely different way and altogether I went 8.4 miles. I cannot put into words how difficult I found it and it has given me serious concerns about the big day. Some of the problem was probably do with the fact that I had neglected to eat before, or take water with me. However, I cannot see that this would account for the sheer exhaustion of my legs. OH WELL. The yin to my yang just told me I am too pessimistic. I shall try to think more positively (the crucial word being "try").

In sunnier news, I just had an apple from my apple tree and it was OM NOM NOM.

As I am writing this I have just received a card from my Cali-bound housemate/BFF. My day has brightened more than considerably. I started writing this feeling a little blue and am ending it feeling nothing short of joyous.

Farewell for the meantime,

Your suddenly cheery friend.

A man with an axe.

Last night I had some rather violent and highly disturbing dreams. The first involved a man with an axe hiding outside my boss' window whilst she was sleeping. The second, me running in the park and said man with the axe chasing me. I don't know whether you are aware but I have always been quite psychic. My Cali-bound friend and I were forever getting premonitions last year which were forever coming true. I also have a bizzare sixth sense with The Mother. Taking all of this into account you can imagine my feelings I had towards running through the park this morning. I am pleased to say I clocked up 4.7 miles and was not attacked by a man with an axe. I am not so pleased to announce that I have the most insane munchies today as a result. I fear going to the library despite just eating 2 weetabix and 2 apples. I fear both my stomach growling but also accidental chomping on some poor person's arm. If you stay still for long enough, chances are I will eat you. As I can't go to the gym I am going to improvise tonight and attempt to do some gym-like activities. It is amazing what you can do with a can of beans..

So that is all for now. Tomorrow I am going to run again in the morning.

Have a lovely day,

Your ravenous friend.

Better Late Than Never.

OH HAI DERE.

I can only apologise about my distinct lack of blogging. I have literally not been in front of a laptop long enough to post in weeks. Blame my Blackberry. You might be pleased to know that I have been making an actual effort to run. I have even bought some proper running trousers albeit a good four months after I should have done. My running trousers do come with quite a practical issue. The reason for buying such trousers was because I need a zip pocket so I can take my music and keys. However, when I put such belongings in my zip pocket my trousers proceed to fall down with the weight. I am yet to find a solution to this problem other than pulling them up every other minute..

After a relatively successful train journey (including the sighting of a monk, yes an actual real life monk) I am now back in Leicester. I have no access to the gym until I can join one here so I have no choice but to run. This can only be a good thing. Unfortunately, as is always the case, leaving home means saying goodbye once more. Those of you who know me know how close I am to my niece. She is my Little Miss Pickleface and being away from her is difficult to say the least. I took her to school before catching my train and astoundingly managed not to let even the smallest tear escape. Even when she whispered in my ear "don't leave me forever" as I was giving her one last cuddle. The girl knows how to play with my heart. I am going to ring her later and will no doubt hear about her latest boyfriend, who has been on time-out today, what happened at ballet and other such daily battles and dramas. Don't you wish you could be four again?

I received an email today about the half marathon saying my running pack is on its way. Eeeeek. I fail to remember a time I have ever been so nervous about anything. Quite literally terrified. My friend asked me, if I could take it back and have not signed up for it, would I? I don't regret signing up for it but I do regret not training harder throughout the summer. Unfortunately this is how I roll. I leave everything to the last minute and I don't think I will ever change. Three short weeks before the run I am finally getting focused on the actual mission. Better late than never?

I am also getting my act together and sorting out sponsors. If you would like to sponsor me my page is
http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=annamarie_clare&isTeam=true
Anything you can spare will be greatly appreciated. Everything I raise is going to Bowel Cancer UK; a charity that works to raise awareness of the symptoms of bowel cancer. As much as we would like to, we cannot eliminate the disease so instead we need to give those with it the best chance of survival. This means detecting it as early as possible.

On the 9th October I will be running for Paul.

You will be hearing from me soon. Maybe even tomorrow.

Thanks for listening,

Your finally motivated friend.

Pass me a brown paper bag..

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I am actually hyperventilating at the thought of this thing.

My friend who is also doing the half marathon has just made his event page for sponsors. I have been in sweet denial about the fact that I will ACTUALLY HAVE TO RUN THIRTEEN AND A HALF BLOODY MILES. 


Good grief. I am starting to think I should probably have spent less of my summer drinking and more of it running.

I have a month.

Please sponsor me.

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/team/annamarie_clare 


I want to cry


Thanks.


Your panic-stricken friend.