"Only 0 days to go"

Well kiddies, today is the day. I am overcome with fear/nausea/anxiety but mainly for the beginning. From what I can gather by what people tell me, actually starting running is mission impossible. Everyone is crowded together and pushing their way to the front. Not only does this eat into your time, it incorporates two of my biggest hates; pusher inners and crowds. 

All my focus at the moment is on the very start and I haven't given much consideration to the rest of the run. I know the first two miles are my personal hardest in the way of regulating my breathing and pace, cue Darth Vader. However that small section between 2 and 13.1 miles in a mystery. All I am hoping is that my mind doesn't give out before my legs do. 

I am currently eating Weetabix and drinking a cup of tea. I have never successfully managed to eat before I run but after the passing out incident the other day I feel it would be awfully foolish to attempt this on an empty stomach. 

So here it is, my last "pre-half marathon" post. 

Wish me luck.

Your soon-to-have-completed-a-half-marathon friend.

Two days.

Am pooping myself about Sunday. My running pack is through, I have had my last run and all I can do now is try my very best. As I write this I have a bag of frozen peas on my elevated knee thanks to my first running injury. Exquisite timing as always. I did 6.56 miles today in 82 mins. The main reasoning for this was to prove that I could in fact run more than 4 miles. Had a slight panic attack when I read that if you stop within the first 4 miles you are instantly disqualified. Also you are not allowed mp3 players. Oh and the last half marathon runner is expected back in 3 hours. Today I proved to myself that I am capable of achieving all of these things but in the process have ballsed up my knee. To be fair I did go for my run at 5:50am then come home, shower, have breakfast and trek into town. It was 20% off in Topshop. What is a girl to do? I then proceeded to not eat all day, walk to my friends then walk home. Unfortunately on the way home I started to feel quite ill and dizzy. That is when I realised that I hadn't eaten and if I didn't get to a shop soon I would most definitely pass out. Which I did. In public. That is the last of my dignity gone then. I feel fine now though, apart from my knee which has been covered in deep heat. I smell fiiiiiine.

I am seriously hoping it will be a case of mind over matter. 

Things I learnt today:

• Scraping my hair back is not a good look for me (oh hai massive chav).
• Singing the Rocky theme tune in your head is highly motivating when running.
• When you have no music you have very odd thoughts, for example what song you might have at your funeral and who you might invite. (Positive thinking as always).
• It is important to eat so you don't pass out.

One positive of Sunday is that I get to see my niece and sister for the first time in a month. If I run fast enough we will even have time for a Nandos BOOM. I have such a support network wishing me well for this God damn run I don't want to let anyone down.

Thank you to everyone who has sponsored me so far and if you haven't already, get your finger out yeah? I JOKE. Except not really..

Now I am going to sleep in preparation for all the carbs I am going to eat tomorrow. Apparently people have "pasta parties". Best sort of party I can imagine.

I'll check in tomorrow when I am hyperventilating with nerves. Look forward to it yar?

Your shattered friend.

Stress.

On the verge of a nervy b.

Imagine a black screen with lots of dots of light buzzing about. It is impossible to focus on one let alone all of them because they are all moving too fast, weaving in and out of each other. When you think you are finally following one, another comes across your path and distracts you. You end up back where you started; amongst a mass of confusion.

Too much stress in all directions at once. 

Signs are now up for the Leicester Half Marathon and the prospect of Sunday is making me feel sick. My running ability is of shocking levels. Probably worse than when I first started training. The weight of the pressure I feel under appears to be hindering my ability to run properly. I can't escape from the "how long have I been running for" and "how far have I gone". When I first started running, before I signed up for this, I liked going because it helped me clear my head but now I come back feeling more anxious and under a thick cloud of worry. I know there is nothing I can realistically do now to improve my running ability other than not getting an injury. I need to try and curb my anxiety because when I get anxious, I get ill. Unfortunately I can't seem to control my anxiety which ironically makes me more anxious. I am forever shooting myself in the foot.


I am currently sat in the library getting a migraine.

I might go home.

Your highly strung friend.