Imagine a black screen with lots of dots of light buzzing about. It is impossible to focus on one let alone all of them because they are all moving too fast, weaving in and out of each other. When you think you are finally following one, another comes across your path and distracts you. You end up back where you started; amongst a mass of confusion.
Too much stress in all directions at once.
Signs are now up for the Leicester Half Marathon and the prospect of Sunday is making me feel sick. My running ability is of shocking levels. Probably worse than when I first started training. The weight of the pressure I feel under appears to be hindering my ability to run properly. I can't escape from the "how long have I been running for" and "how far have I gone". When I first started running, before I signed up for this, I liked going because it helped me clear my head but now I come back feeling more anxious and under a thick cloud of worry. I know there is nothing I can realistically do now to improve my running ability other than not getting an injury. I need to try and curb my anxiety because when I get anxious, I get ill. Unfortunately I can't seem to control my anxiety which ironically makes me more anxious. I am forever shooting myself in the foot.
I am currently sat in the library getting a migraine.
I might go home.
Your highly strung friend.
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